That one time (all the times)

That one time (all the times)
that
I don’t know
How to act around you

I don’t want to leave people anymore

I saw her.
She came from a burnt
brick building
surrounded by cool-grey fog

I saw her.
And there was joy
But then I realized she had been dead for a long time

Or was it a lie, I’d remembered incorrectly

I’d been thinking about her a lot —
So how could she be dead?
These thoughts came up frequently enough that they must be real
Reality is everything we experience within the physical world
Mental consciousness is part of the physical world, so it’s real too
Yes? No?

Oh, I’m dreaming
So it’s not her.
But I see her.
This is the closest I’ll ever get to her

I approach despite now knowing

I wave

Face to face
I see
It’s not her

It’s a doll
There are similar features, but I know it’s not her
The reproduction of my memory is flawed
I’ll never see her face again

I cry and hold her anyways

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